With the new year upon us, and so many posting on whether they are going to do a new years resolution I have been thinking on this hard.. for about a week now it has been steeping at the back of my mind...
I don't want to actually do a new years resolution because to me, for me it has a negative connotation to it... I have change something... so I want to put a positive spin on it...No resolutions, but I do have goals I want to meet this year... I think that is why I was able to do most of the things I set out to do last year, I set down just a few well thought out goals for my year and then stuck with it until I met them... (which by the way was a miracle in itself...)
So that decision made, no resolutions, goals instead...exactly what do I want to do this year? What is it that I want to achieve? How will I go about achieving them?
what were the goals that I set out last year?
1. do what I had to do to get the bariatric surgery.
2. do what I had to do to ensure that the surgery was a success.
3. concentrate on myself for the whole year. A gift to myself.
4. quit smoking
What is it that I wanted to achieve from these goals? I wanted a better self image. I wanted to stop being so sick and tired all the time. I had high everything, blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, sleep apnea, copd, asthma, I was on oxygen, and a cpap machine... and I was just turning 49. I was also 379 pounds in Feb last year. I was depressed and in pain and I could not walk and breathe at the same time. I wanted to change my life...I wanted to live my life... I wanted to feel passion again about something, anything... I wanted to feel better... Hell, I wanted anything other then what I had.
So what did I do? I went to my surgeons seminar for the surgery, I filled out the paper work and sent it in and got my appointment. (that's when I found out that I would have to quit smoking)... On Feb 7th I had my last cigarette as I was going to the hospital because I could not breathe. I spent a few days in the hospital and came out a non smoker... a week later the doctor put me on oxygen... fun...I also started seeing a therapist... who I adore.. we dealt with so many issues in the six months that I was seeing her.
I went to every appointment and jumped through every hoop that was required of me to do what I knew I had to do... and on October 11 I got the surgery... since my highest weight at 379 in Feb, and the 352 I weighed when I had the surgery I am now below 300... I am off blood pressure meds, I am off blood sugar meds, I am off the oxygen... I can actually walk and breathe at the same time... (yeah me)...and where I actually hated my life, I love my life... I have learned to love myself, that I am actually worth the effort that I am putting into myself... and so are my children and my grandchildren and my friends they are all worth the effort that I am putting into myself so I can stick around for all of them, and hopefully show them that they are worth it as well...
I have a long way to go to reach my goal of 150 and that goal is not set in stone... ultimately I just want to be where ever I am the healthiest, happiest me I can be, I don't mind taking some time to get there. I don't sweat it when my body decides to hang on to a couple of pounds for a week or so as it adjust to the new me... I know that as long as I am doing what I need to do it will come off...
So again back to the main question, exactly what goals do I have for this year?
This year I am turning 50...
1. I want to go on a cruise. I really don't care where, but I want to go on a great big ship and go out in the ocean and sail around for a while... like with most things in my life, its not so much about the destination as it is about the journey.
2. I want to get a DSLR camera. I love photography. it is one of those things that I am passionate about. I want to pursue that passion this year.
3. Photo Shop... this one ties in with the one above...its also about pursuing that passion.
4. I want to find a personal trainer who I can connect with, to help me in my goal to be as healthy as I can be.
5. I want to have my own place. It occurred to me that I have never lived alone...I am going to be 50 years old and I have never lived alone... I want to get a small apartment, and even if it is just for a while, I want my own place. I want to decorate it the way I like, I want to get the furniture that is my style. I am discovering who I am... what I like, and I want to continue that.
6. I want to help others...this one is kinda broad but I really do want to help others feel like a success on their journey.
7. I want to go to a Obesity Help confrence. I want to meet the people who I have come to care for on line.
Last year, I gave myself the gift of concentrating on myself. I give that same gift to myself again. I have learned that rather then making me shallow, or selfish, or conceited... in giving myself time, I have more time and energy for others... in taking care of myself, I am better equipped to take care of others, which is one of the things that gives me joy...
So those are my goals for 2011... my 50th year... I will make more along the way, goals for the day, week month, moment... mostly I want to Live, Love and Laugh throughout this whole year...
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