New Years Resolutions

Every year before Christmas I start thinking about the year to come. I get a sense of what that year may have in store for  me, and plan accordingly. Now I will admit that I have been ADD most of my life and usually "forget" that I even made plans for the new year, much less what they were by the time January 1 rolls around, but the last couple of years have been a little different. I have not "forgotten" and this past year I actually was able to do everything I set out to do this year. OK so my big goal this year was to get bariatric surgery, but those of you on this journey know how hard that can be. For someone with ADD it can become impossible.. we forget appointments, and fail to follow through especially when we hit a little resistance, and there was plenty of that. I am proud of my accomplishments this past year, and whats more is that the success I feel sets me up for more success this coming year... woo woo... how awesome is that.

So, what do I want out of the year to come? What is it that I want to accomplish this year? I will be turning 50 in March so that factors into my goals as well... that is such a Hugh milestone. Other things that factor in, is the fact that I did have bariatric surgery this year, and my body will be different, my health is improved, my energy levels are up... all of this factors into what I want my next year to be.

1. I want to go on a Cruise for my birthday. The destination to me is not as important as the journey. The Bahamas would be nice, but so would the virgin islands or even Porto Rico. For me it really is about the journey at least this time.

2.a I want to find a personal trainer to work with me on getting more physically fit. Now that I can move some, now that I have more energy, I want to use it... I want to improve it.

2.b On that note I want to join a gym and start working out regularly. This is difficult...besides the whole ADD thing, there is the fact that I have never worked out on a regular basis for more then a couple of weeks at the most in my life... I want to change that.

3. I want a DSLR camera. My passion is photography, and it has been that passion that has kept me moving toward my goal of becoming healthier and more fit. I want to continue to pursue that passion.

4. I want to move into my own apartment. I have never lived alone. First with my parents, then friends, then my husband, then my children, then my mother, and friends, and lovers, and now my daughter. I am going to be 50 years old and I want my own place. Some where I do not have to take someone elses taste into consideration. My style, my colors, my taste.

5. I want to keep going on this same path that I have found myself, physically with the weight loss and better health of course, but also mentally and emotionally, and spiritually... I am loving my life, and learning to love and  respect me...

Last year I gave myself the gift of One Year, where my main focus would be on myself. Not something that was easy for me. I was one of those people who would put what everyone else wanted and needed above myself. Because of some early issues and emotional trauma in my life, I guess I did not feel that I was worthy of my attention. Everyone else came first and it made me feel good to be that way. It worked for me for many years, but then like some many other dysfunctional mindsets at some point it ceased to work for me but I was stuck in that singular way of doing things. One of my goals for last year was to break that mindset. To learn that I really am worth my attention. I learned so much from that... I learned that focusing on myself did not make me selfish or greedy, instead it gave me the energy and desire to do for others, but from a different perspective. Not because I had to, or was suppose to, but because I wanted to...When I am doing for others now its with joy in my heart, not from a sense of obligation. So I think I am going  to give myself another year. I've earned it... and I am worth it...
I can not wait to see what the new year brings.